Saturday, August 9, 2014

All about Jae :)

Well since mommy and daddy have made posts about how we got here, I believe it is time to tell you all about Jae-Jae. 

Before she was born she was a true WVU fan. She would just kick and kick when her daddy got excited or she would hear sounds from the stadium.

She hated it when I was on the computer and she still does unless it is doing something she likes.

She loves music! Just like her parents :)

She experienced distress before being born, but she came out fast and crying and has been exceptionally healthy ever since. Thank heavens! 

She breast fed for 14 months. She use to walk up to me and sign for milk and suck her thumb. So cute!

She loves her pappy. She loved rocking with him and falling asleep. Spoiled much, and he still rocks her to sleep! :) 

The one thing most people are confused about is her nickname, "Jae". We had her full name and nickname picked out long before she existed. Jayden Elizabeth and Jae stands for "Jade Ann Elizabeth". We decided on Jayden instead of Jade Ann because we didn't want her to have four names to deal with especially if she would ever get married. To us her name is beyond special and we couldn't think of a more perfect name for her!

We tried with all our might to not have a pink, princess loving child, but it is impossible. But she also likes TMNT, Scooby, Adventure Time (WTG daddy), Shrek, and many other non- girly things.

She loves all of her "aunts" and "uncles"! 

We started the alternative potty training super early and she did great with it until she could walk. Then she didn't care about sitting on the potty, she wanted to explore. We are getting there again. Thanks to Nina Needs to Go, we almost always have to use the potty when we are out and about. As soon as she sees the bathroom sign she says, "I need to potty now!". 

She loves Church. Sometimes she wakes up and says "let's go church" . It always makes me smile. 

In 2.5 years she has never had a hair cut. Sadly I think it is getting to the point it needs cut. I just love her bouncy curls and don't want to see them go. 

She loves puzzles. 

She loves the Kindle Fire and learning.

She loves Doc McStuffins and it has taught her to love the Doctor. So much so she thinks she needs to go every day. 

She is starting to become very imaginative. 

Her memory is incredible. 

She loves balloons.

She loves bubbles.

She is starting to love dress up an heals. Help me Lord! Lol

She has only lived in Motown. 

She has visited Moorefield several times though. 

She absolutely HATES her video monitor. 

She didn't sleep in her own room until she about 1.5 years old.

She stopped sleeping in her crib at about 6 months. After that she just slept on the crib mattress on the floor.  

She still sucks her thumb, but only when she is sleepy, mad, or not feeling good. 

She has a toy of the day, that she takes everywhere with her. She will love it all day like it is her bestest friend.

She loves monkeys.

She is mostly all smiles. 

She loves to flirt, especially with married men. Look out teenage years.

She is ambidextrous. 

I use to make most of her baby food and she loved avocados. Now she won't touch them. 

She calls vanilla almond milk, milkshake. 

She use to ask for scramble eggs for every meal.

She loves to dance.

She loves chocolate.

She can count to 20 on most days.

We are tying to learn sign language.

She tells her daddy his hair looks great!

She likes looking at her reflection and dancing saying "I look fashion". Lol 

She brings us a love and happiness that we didn't know existed!!!

When asked what color she loves, " I love colors". 

She likes to "cheers" with her drinks.

She loves taking selfies.

She hates wet clothes.

She loves swimming.

She loves bubble baths.

Favorite TV show, Sofia the First.

Her pouty stance always makes me want to laugh. Especially when she says "I don't think so" or "I don't have to pee" with her pouty lips.

She loves cuddling with her daddy and watching a movie as their special time. 

She also loves when daddy plays the guitar for her.

She gets really excited about the smallest things.

When she cleans, she hums.

When Lucky is bad she tells him he needs to go to time out.

If she is playing with something that Lucky is interested in, she will play with him for a few minutes and then tell him " No, No, No, Lucky".

She goes through phases of being Mommy's girl or Daddy's girl. Currently we are Daddy's girl.

If daddy and mommy are having a discussion she with walk in the middle of us and say "No, No, No, guys" with her hand up. At times it can be really funny.

She loves playing in the Garden. She even planted her own pumpkin this year. Too bad it is ready to be picked now and not in few months. I think we need to plant some more.

We love our baby girl always and forever. We are so blessed to have her in our lives. We can't wait to see what the next adventures will be and how she will continue to grow and learn.


Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Broken heart please return pieces ASAP

This subject matter has been weighing on my heart a good bit lately. Maybe through this post I can finally let go of the hurt, pain, and anxiety all of it has caused me. I am also hoping this post explains a guarded wall I have up towards girls who tries to become my friend.

Sooo here it goes......

 I had an amazing friendship with someone and we had very similar morals and values. This friendship continued to grow especially in High School. There were times I did focus on my current boyfriend a little more than her, but she still stuck by my side. We did our homework together, we sat at the same table at lunch with our other friends, and we even went to prom together. She was the only girl friend that I could rely on since Middle School. She was also the only friend that called me at the Hospital after the wreck. I knew before we graduated that I wanted her to be my Maid of Honor, the Godmother to my child, my best friend no matter what happened. In comparison, I really thought it was similar to the amazing friendship Cory and Shawn have on Boy Meets World. I did not think anything could separate us or destroy us. Facebook was an amazing blessing, because it allowed us to stay connected even though we went to different colleges.

I did not really notice any difference until closer time to the Wedding. Still, I did not think anything was wrong, except life was just happening around us. The BIG DAY was happening the next day.  I was beyond excited to see my best friend and to have her stand by me in front of all of our friends and family. Then things went down hill, way down hill. She started saying all this stuff about how we were never friends, and why did I want her up there with me, and other stuff I have just blocked out because of the shock.

Being a person who wears her heart on her sleeve, is extremely shy, very loving and close to a small group of people, I was floored. My heart shattered. I just wanted to run away. My best friend just ditched me at the alter. Thank Heavens my 3 amazing guy friends were there to literally pick me up off the floor. They helped put some of the pieces of my heart back together.

To this day my heart is still missing some pieces. I have a hard time believing in myself, trusting others, wondering when the next joke will be on me or about me. I cannot allow myself to break down the wall. I am scared to death it will all happen all over again. Now it is affecting my daughter because I am scared to make girl friends and scared for her to make friends. I never want her to feel that devastation. There are no amount of words my friends or family can say to me that cures that broken heart, because I have no answers of why. What did I really do? What was going on that I missed? Did she not understand that I Loved her no matter what? Yes Love. I love my guy friends. They are my world. I am struggling with accepting girls as friends. I have a few, but I panic if they ask me to do anything or go anywhere. I want it to be a deeper friendship but fear, tears, and that missing piece of my heart prevent me from allowing it to happen.

I really hope that there is not another person out there that this has happened to but if there is know you are not alone. Know that it is okay to feel so devastated and that not too many people around you are going to understand the hurt. Even my husband at times does not understand why I still cry. I know I need to forgive. I need to pray more before I think that is going to happen. 

Another attempt to find answers...
Please if YOU read this throw a begging puppy a bone. I need to know just what I did. If we weren't friends then why wait till the day before my wedding to tell me. Why agree to be apart of something incredibly special if you didn't feel like you belonged there? I wanted you there no one else. No one else stood by your side or my side like we both did. You broke my heart. Something that will probably never be repaired. I don't care who you are or who you love you were my BEST friend. You knew I thought of you that way. I still remember Prom. We were both dateless and you were the best date I could have asked for. A majority of my High School memories involve you. WHY? How could you say we were never really friends??? Did I wear rose colored glasses or something? You broke me. You don't deserve this much thought still but the hurt is still so deep. I hope at least your happy and that you have found true friends. I don't want to be you friend. I just need closure. I know there is less than a %1 chance of that ever happening. My heart deserves to be repaired. I will pray to try to forgive you. One day it may happen.